Breaking the Pattern: Understanding the Mind-Emotion-Decision Cycle

How many times have you heard someone saying – “oh nooo, not this again and again”? How many times has your friend said, “oh, I am not lucky with guys/girls? I seem to attract the same type of guy/girl”? If these phrases sound familiar, perhaps you’re just scratching your head, thinking, “Oops, I have said that before too!” Don’t worry; we all do it from time to time.

Many of us have experienced the same outcomes with different circumstances and most likely with different people. Does that ring a bell? That could be your experience too.

But have you ever stopped to wonder why this happens? Why do we find ourselves in repetitive situations, making the same mistakes, or facing the same outcomes over and over again? In this blog, we will dive into the fascinating world of the mind, body, and consciousness to explore how our thoughts affect our emotions, how our emotions affect our decisions, and why we often find ourselves stuck in recurring patterns.

The Mind-Emotion Connection

Our minds are powerful instruments that shape our reality. The thoughts we harbour can either empower us or hold us back. When we repeatedly think certain thoughts, they become ingrained in our subconscious minds, influencing our perceptions and behaviours.

Consider this scenario: You’ve had a series of unsuccessful relationships, and you keep telling yourself, “I always attract the wrong type of person.” This thought pattern becomes a belief that colors your view of potential partners. When you meet someone new, you might unconsciously look for signs that confirm your belief, leading you to gravitate toward familiar, perhaps unhealthy dynamics.

Emotions and Decisions

Our emotions are closely tied to our thoughts. When we think negatively or hold limiting beliefs, it triggers negative emotions such as fear, doubt, or self-doubt. These emotions, in turn, influence our decisions.

Continuing with the relationship example, if you believe you’re doomed to attract the wrong type of person, you may approach new relationships with a sense of apprehension. This fear can lead you to make decisions based on avoidance rather than genuine connection. You might push away potential partners prematurely, believing that you’re saving yourself from heartache.

I have great news! You can break that cycle! You might need a bit of guidance on how to make a change efficiently, shift your focus, and gain more clarity about what you truly want in your life. I can practically guarantee that with some energy and effort, you will witness the change you desire.

I remember one of my clients; let’s call him Mr. Reality 😛. It was quite evident that certain ideas had a strong grip on him. These ideas were grand, beautiful, and deeply motivating. However, at the same time, they were exerting considerable pressure and tension on both his body and mind. What struck me as intriguing was the extent to which he identified with these ideas, essentially merging them with his own identity.

In essence, he had become one with his idea. To broaden his perspective, I posed a crucial question: “How much of your well-being are you willing to sacrifice in pursuit of this idea?” It’s important to note that the idea itself wasn’t inherently flawed; rather, the issue lay in the excessive meaning and attachment he had developed towards it. This attachment was driving him relentlessly, but with unhealthy pressure and stress, leading to various health problems, a lack of clarity, mental overwhelm, and so on.

When I guided him through the process of releasing his attachment to the idea, he experienced an immediate surge of energy, a profound sense of peace, and an overwhelming feeling of contentment.

Let's do it!

Breaking free from repetitive patterns requires a conscious effort to shift your thought patterns, emotions, and subsequent decisions. Here are some steps I believe can help you get started:


  1. Self-awareness: Recognize the recurring patterns in your life. Be honest with yourself about the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that keep you stuck.


  1. Challenge your beliefs: Question the validity of your beliefs. Are they based on past experiences or unfounded fears? Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.


  1. Emotional intelligence: Learn to manage your emotions. Practice mindfulness and self-regulation to prevent negative emotions from controlling your decisions.


  1. Seek support: Talk to someone who understands the process, who went through it, who can offer a fresh perspective and help you navigate your patterns.


  1. Set new intentions: Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, set clear intentions for what you do want in your life. Visualize positive outcomes and work toward them.

Let's not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.

Repeating the same results in life is a common human experience, but it doesn’t have to be your permanent reality. By understanding the intricate connection between your thoughts, emotions, and decisions, you can break free from limiting patterns and create a more fulfilling life. 

Remember, change begins with self-awareness and a willingness to challenge your beliefs. So, the next time you catch yourself saying, “Not this again,” take it as an opportunity to explore the power of your mind and make conscious choices that lead to different, more positive outcomes.

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